Okay so I'm going to first start that they are not yet in laws, but I'm going to refer to them as that because it makes it easier. Also, those that have a great relationship with in laws, that's awesome. I've tried. God I've tried. They're horrid.

So let me start by saying that my sil and I used to be close and I'd tell her things in confidence that was meant to be between the two of us. Just like when she'd complain about her husband's mother and his step mother and how awful they are and how they exclude her (mainly his mother excluding her)and taking over with her kids. And the step mother butting in where its not wanted. I would never say a word to either of the ladies about what I was told. at the time I didn't know either enough to make a judgement so I simply gave sil my opinion and how I'd handle it. I confided that I thought I was pregnant but turned out I wasn't. She starts giving me all sorts of tips on how to get pregnant and that I shoukd be trying right? So what does she do? Turns to her hubbys mother and tells her that in ACTIVELY TRYING to get pregnant. That starts a huge shit storm and theres other issues that were caused and anyway,that ended up being a source for a lot of my anger and lack of trust in sil and mil for the simple fact that mil knows what a liar sil is and has said she doesnt take what sil says as fact until multiple people say it.yet she hopped on the bandwagon when sil told her i was trying when I was not. Well a good while later I finally got to experience the step mother and what a controlling, manipulative shady person she can be. I cant pick anything for myself because she woukd pick something else for herself (food,drink, decor,period products, etc. Yes she literally drug me through the dirt for using pads instead of tampons and how can I like the feeling of a diaper that's sick and I should just grow up and pick tampons clearly I wasn't shown right that's why I don't use them and use disgusting pads🙄)

So needless to say I don't get along with any of them. There was an even bigger blow out with the step mom and it has resulted in my boyfriend not talking to his dad or her because of how I was treated by them (mainly her, but fil's a wuss and won't stand up to her so he jumped on too) so, the main point of this is: last night we were discussing family things when we do decide to have kids. I said that our visits with everyone (my family included which btw are no walk in the park either they're insane but on a different level lol) would be less as we'd have our own family started and traditions and things to figure out. And that's how it's meant to go anyway. Not to forget everyone or never see them! Just to focus on the family you've made more. And he just took what I said as me attacking them and said it seemed like I didn't want any thing to do with them. I told him that's not what I said, repeated that we wouldn't just stop seeing his family or mine or pick one over the other, but that I would want to focus on our family more. Well that was just the wrong thing to say I guess. All the kids in his family are very much mommy dependant and its too much. theres a normal healthy relationship,then theres overly attached or no relationship at all. And they are the definition of overly attached.if she had it her way everyone would live together and she'd have all the grand kids to herself.. I've made it clear rhats not going to be how it is lmao. So, if y'all were in my shoes would you feel the same as me or him? I'm ready to pull my hair out trying to explain this to him and why I feel like this