My kid goes to a very small (think 7 kids in his preschool class) private school. I pay good money for him to go to. I love the environment. He reads fluently at just turned 5. He’s extremely smart with a photographic memory. He rarely forgets anything. It also makes him a bit awkward socially. He’s brilliant academically, but young in a lot of areas. This school lets him accelerate what he’s great at and takes extra time at what he’s not. He gets some great one on one. And most of the time, he thrives. It’s a sacrifice, but it’s one we chose to make for him, his personality, and his academics. But hey he’s 5. It all balances out eventually. We just knew our public school and head start was not the place for him as they don’t even work on academics until basically 1st grade.

Today he came home, sat at my kitchen table, and announces there is no school tomorrow.

Ummmm, keep dreaming kid.

Then my husband says “no the canceled school tomorrow. You didn’t get the note?”

Note? What note!

The note that said they canceled school tomorrow. Which they do sometimes. Now, it bugs me on short notice sometimes. But I’m a SAHM. Him being out of school doesn’t stress my life. I usually love it because he’s home with his younger brother, and they play. And he’s in a pretty rigorous schedule for a 5 year old. I enjoy the down time, and he enjoys being off too.

But today it meant that the thanksgiving meal scheduled for tomorrow was today. And all the other mommies were there for it. But his mommy wasn’t. I wasn’t there. I was going to be there so he could eat with a parent like the other kids. I could’ve been there. I wanted to be there. And I had no clue.

I’m 4 months pregnant and all I can do is sob. Today I also crunched our budget. And I can’t afford to do some of what they wanted for Christmas. I know presents aren’t everything. But today, I wasn’t even a presence. The other mommies came.

I’m devastated. And I’m angry. WHY WASNT THIS ON THE WEBSITE/FACEBOOK? Why did my husband go through his folder and throw that note in a pile somewhere? Why didn’t he go to the meal or at least mention it to me?

The school has already been on me because I don’t volunteer and I don’t seem to show up for stuff. Ummmmm, listen if you tell me parent Involvement is needed, I’ll be there if I can. Like today. But if you’re just doing fun things I don’t expect to have to show up every school day. Apparently some moms in the preschool kinda hover around. My kid is great without me. His first day of school he asked me not to stay. He’s better behaved and super independent. The school and his teachers text me pics. And I am a puking pregnant woman who has a sickly one year old at home. I don’t need to live at my kids preschool.

But today, parents could come. Encouraged to come. Eat with their kids.

I could be been there. And I missed it. And I’m frustrated Bc they made that change with one days notice. And didn’t bother to post the info anywhere. My kid was alone. My kid was disappointed.

And I feel like the scum of the earth.