My daughter will be 14 next month and we are just starting to deal with issues with boys and I’m not sure how to handle things so I’m looking for those with experience.

I’ll try to make a long story short. She’s overall always been a pretty good kid, does well in school and involved in sports etc. we are a pretty open family and I have always tried to keep open communication with her. This year she starting “dating” her first real boyfriend I guess you could say. We tried to be understanding and accepting within reason but recently discovered he has actually been sneaking into her room through her window at night. The first time it happened we grounded her, she missed out on two events she was looking forward to, we took her phone away, and took her door off her room. We also started talking about birth control and she was very adamant that she wasn’t having/ready for sex (that they just make out essentially) and really didn’t want to be on it because she’s too young. We had been having conversations trying to find some middle ground when just two weeks after the first incident they got caught again! She has pretty much lost all privileges we can think of other than sports. She was just about to start soccer season but now my husband doesn’t want to let her. I’m at a loss of how much we should continue to punish her. Is sports something that should be used as discipline? On one hand I feel like what we have already done isn’t working but on the other hand I’m worried if we punish too much and take absolutely everything away she will have nothing to lose and start to rebel more. I did take steps to put her on birth control this time and we are putting locks on the windows. What else do we do?