Anyone husbands/SO have ED/low testosterone?

Question

How do you cope? This is making ttc so much more difficult than I thought it would be... he says relax it'll happen when it's supposed to but how will it happen when we basically never have sex?!

Answer

Long read.. sorry lol hearing someone else goes through the same thing got me excited at not being alone. 
We struggle with the low testosterone (zero sex drive) with my husband for nearly all of our relationship/marriage. I don’t know about ED, mainly because my husband refuses to admit there’s a problem to anyone except me. We have sex MAYBE once a month and that once a month is only when he’s half asleep. For some reason, once he falls asleep.. he gets horny. We have been diagnosed male infertility due to low motility and our urologist prescribed clomid to help balance his hormones and increase motility. We’re a week in... no changes in sex drive yet :( 
It’s EXTREMELY hard to cope with.. I’m constantly having to find different ways to self love and keep my confidence high. I crave attention and affection.. always from my husband but I’d be lying if sometimes I’m so desperate to feel wanted that I’d take attention from anyone. We talk about it but he shuts down.. he feels such an immense amount of guilt for our TTC problems that he gets angry when I express how much I wish he wanted me. 
I don’t have much advise except to take in the little things... when my husband is cuddley, I cherish it. When he kisses me tons, I cherish it. Any affection.. I try to soak it all in. I also do all kinds of self love techniques. I started losing weight which has helped, I get dressed up for silly things like going to the store and I innocently flirt with random people sometimes.. 
That might sounds bad to someone who’s not in this situation but it’s completely innocent and I doubt anyone knows I’m flirting other than me. It makes me feel empowered and like I COULD still affect a man.. but I go home to my husband and feel confident in the fact that I am loyal and our marriage is stronger than our bedroom issues. We are on a road to having a baby and hopefully fixing our issues thanks to a great urologist. Have faith and be open with your SO.. find love and intimacy in other things, not just sex. 
Also.. please yourself 😉 it helps take the edge off.  Best of luck to y’all!

Answer

Thank you so much for starting this conversation! Finallyyy I’m not alone!!!

Answer

My husband has low testosterone.  He was getting a testosterone shot weekly until we started ttc.  He recently started seeing a new endocrinologist for his diabetes and they are going to check his thyroid.  The doctor said the low testosterone could be from having thyroid issues because it affects the signals from the brain.  Guess we’ll find out in a few weeks if that’s the issue.  Good luck!

Answer

I haven’t been doing the best job of coping all of the time and it’s just such a vicious cycle because when my husband doesn’t even want to try when I’m ovulating (not necessarily by choice but due to his low T/drive) it’s hard for me to not get frustrated.. he says when he sees me mad or frustrated it just makes the problem worse! Which I do understand... but what I don’t understand is HOW am I just supposed to sit with a smile on my face hiding all of my emotion when this happens nearly every time and we’ve been TTC for over a year!  I just don’t know how to cope. I’ve been trying to focus on positives and put my attention to bettering myself but these problems are too big to ignore.. like jasmyn said..how are you supposed to get pregnant without having sex?? And he will not go to a urologist or endocrinologist because he says “that’s not the problem”. Last time I checked I had the medical degree and he didn’t. I know he wants kids so I don’t get it. It’s so frustrating!! Ps.. I’m 32 and he’s 39 so the clock is ticking...anyone have any advise for me?

Answer

Omg I know. My SO is the same way. And the lackadaisical reaction is so frustrating too. We have been trying so long. Baby dust to us all!

Answer

I think I might just be ready to stop ttc for a bit and focus on my relationship with my husband

Answer

Ugh finally someone who understands!! 
We got to a point where my husband literally almost told me to go have sex with someone else to please myself because if I please myself alone I bleed.. toy/no toy penetratio/no penetration doesn't matter I bleed but sex doesn't do that to me for whatever reason no matter how rough I get with sex I do not have the bleeding issue..
But he felt bad because I'm a nympho so I'm constantly trying to get it like even if I dont really want it..I want it.
He is actually SUPER affectionate so we are close that way but it's just sex never in my life have I had to try SO hard for sex!🤣😣😪
I sometimes find myself being flirty because I dont get that kind of attention from him and its nice to remind myself I'm still hot enough to have anyone I want but I never go outside my marriage because hes the love of my life! So i get where you're coming from there!
His doctor prescribed him with androgel to boost his testosterone levels but i heard that it could mess with sperm count and mobility so I need to go back to the doctor and ask a shit ton of questions lol! We are a month in with the androgel and no improvement on sex drive but my mom said it takes a few months for it to really affect the sex drive..my dad has low testosterone as well..

Anyone husbands/SO have ED/low testosterone?

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