Help please!!

I had to go to my doctors appointment by myself with my son, and found out I had a miscarriage today. I’m so emotional, and don’t feel like I’ll ever be the same. I left my doctors office today crying into my 11 months old son while I was holding him. I know what it feels like to have a child and now I can’t help but think if this baby would have been a boy or a girl, and what type of personality they would have. Does it ever get better? I know I’m going to be down for a while as it’s just happened today, but I’m just ready for the pain to go away.