I have an ugly pubic area

So me and my SO have been together for 2 years and I am so self conscious about my pubic area that he's never actually seen it. We only have sex in the dark or a very dim light, I know it's insane. I have Hidradenitis suppurativa

(thanks PCOS) and that causes scarring after a flare up. There is no cure for this condition. I don't know how to help my self esteem about it, I won't even buy/wear lingerie or anything because we obviously have sex in the dark so there is no point. He knows about my condition and is always really supportive about it but I don't want him to think that I don't want the lights on because of him. Not all of the scars are dark in Color so using creams to lighten them is useless because they just look like severe silver/gray stretch marks. Any advice would help me at this point. I just feel gross and ugly.

**I have also heard that CBD or cannabis oil treats this condition very well, if you know anything about that I would love to hear it. I haven't found anything that works.