Do we give psycho MIL our address?

Question

My MIL is an extreme narcissist with constant untreated bipolar. She lost it on us almost a year ago right after the birth of our last baby... she was furious we didn’t call/text/send constant updates on the kids daily and keep up communication in general.. we did text her/call her several times a week but that was no where near enough for her so she made a boat load of lies about us even claiming that I wasn’t actually in school but I was just trying to avoid her!!!!!!!!! The lies were freaking ridiculous but she spread them through the family and then had a final blow out on us before blocking us for almost a year..... 
Now that it’s the holidays and maybe her bipolar took a different turn she un blocked us and is messaging both of us for our address to send gifts to the kids... 
but I DONT WANT TO GIVE IT TO HER
I told hubs to give her an alternate address we use bc he can still give the gift to our kids.. he feels torn and asked me what to do.. i told him I’m not over what she put us through immediately after our child birth making it about herself... bc it sent me into bad PPD and I’m. It yet through it yet.. 
What would you all do???

Answer

If you don’t want her in your life that’s fine but it should be 100% one way or another. I wouldn’t accept gifts and then not let her be fully involved

Answer

P.O. Box. I wouldn't trust someone like that with my address 🤷

Answer

I would get a PO box and have her send everything there.

Answer

Seems like she needs someone’s help. Yes she treated you poorly, but she is bipolar. And that’s the disease speaking. You can’t just exile her because she has a mental illness. She literally has a chemical imbalance in her brain..... sounds to me like she needs someone “constant” in her life to get her to treatment for her bipolar. Maybe give her the incentive to get seen by a psychologist and get on a mood stabilizer medication, and then she can see your family..... people with mental diseases need just as much help and sympathy as someone with a physical disease like cancer.... people with mental illness are often singled out of their family because it is a disease that can’t be seen like a broken leg. So people end up treating them differently, which puts a wedge in the family. ☹️ try to get her help and support first before you just cut her out completely. And remember, it’s a chemical imbalance in her brain that is controlling her words and actions if she is bipolar. Good luck, but don’t forget about the ppl who suffer on the inside.

Answer

This is putting your husband in a rough spot. But you have valid concerns about her mental stability and you and your husband need to sit down together and talk about boundaries he needs to set with her.
My concern would be how much you can allow her into your child's life without causing confusion and turmoil for your child. 
This will be a rough discussion for your husband. But the two of you need to figure this out. Write it down in case one of you forgets. Then he has to spell it out to you mom. Some topics may have to do with not ever showing up uninvited to your house, agreeing to leave without a fuss when asked if her behavior is erratic around your child, not tolerating her slandering you or him for making decisions about how you parent or how much or little she's involved. As a father and husband he needs to stand up for you and your child and put you both above her.

Do we give psycho MIL our address?

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