Is my MIL a bitch??
I found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks ago, and my husband and I decided to tell our families over Thanksgiving the news! My folks were ecstatic! My dad has been telling everyone he’s going to be a grandpa!
We are SOOOO excited and SOOOO ready to be parents!!
When we told my husband’s mom though - well, she wasn’t so happy about it for some reason...
My MIL frowned saying, “You’re pregnant? Are you sure?”
I say, “Yes, I most definitely am.”
“Did you plan this?”
I said, “Um, yeah, we did.”
“Oh wow... you know, I thought you two were going to wait longer. Are you sure you aren’t doing this too soon?”
So, we’ve waited two and a half years, primarily for financial reasons, but we’ve been wanting kids since the beginning... so honestly this was a plenty long wait for us. We are both hardworking and very responsible, so she had no reason to assume we were being careless.
She then goes on and on about how her other kids were unprepared with their children, and shared far too many personal stories about them and how they all were “bad parents” and “screwed up” in her eyes. Uh, judgmental much??
I then went onto to explain to her my heavy experience caring for kids throughout my life. My mother had very poor health when I was in high school, so I basically had to run the household by myself and take care of my siblings AND my baby sister while she was recovering, all while doing my schoolwork and college prep courses (I was homeschooled). I ALSO have been babysitting since I was 8, did childcare for countless organizations, and was a nanny for years (also with overnight experience), so I have an UNUSUAL amount of experience with kids.
I explained ALL OF THIS to her. You know what she did?
SHE LAUGHED. She straight up starts LAUGHING AT ME! She said, “You just don’t have a clue, do you?”
Now I get it, none of my experience is the same as being a mom, I KNOW it’s a tough job! But she didn’t think I could do it!! She didn’t believe in us!!!
She then said,
“Well, don’t go dumping your kids on me when you are having a hard time. I don’t want to deal with that.”
Believe me, MIL. I WON’T. I wouldn’t want my kids to around that negativity anyway, especially since you already don’t care about them or US!
Now, I was being nice and patient and POLITE the entirety of this conversation. But I SO wanted to call her a bitch to her face. I instead went to the bathroom to cry a little.
After Thanksgiving was over I was like:
I’ll get my support and love and care elsewhere.
Why can’t she just be happy for us?? I think it’s ok to have concerns, but she was just being mean. We’ve given her NO REASONS to doubt us or our abilities, and yet she still thinks we’re not good enough. We are grown ass adults with our own lives and we can make our own decisions!
I KNOW parenting won’t be easy, it isn’t for anybody and NOBODY is truly prepared. Parents, in-laws, PLEASE be supportive. It really goes a long way to have you care!!