So I have caught my husband on numerous occasions talking to other women online the past two years. His most recent was the day before he left to a training in OK (which was the end of September). He blames it on drinking but I know for a fact he has done it sober as well. While he has been gone I have gone back and forth about wanting to leave him. I do not see a future with him. I dont want kids with him anymore.

But.....it doesnt mean that this doesnt hurt for me too. He is all I have known for the past 5 years. I have no family on my side so its scary. Which sounds stupid I know. But I've let people walk all over me my entire life and I refuse to let the person who was supposed to love and cherish me forever to get another chance just because he claims he has changed in the last month and a half (about when I told him I wanted to leave him). THATS when he realized he messed up.....and I'm supposed to just take that and go oh okay now you realize it let's move on. No. I dont know maybe I just needed to vent. Because sitting here crying isnt going to get me anywhere. Anyone deal with anything similar? Any advice? I love him, I do but I cant ever trust him again and I see no future.