Chemical pregnancy

8 wks.

That’s how long it took to discover my chemical pregnancy. I still haven’t started. But I know it’s real. I’m so broken. I’m just done. Why even try any more. First a miscarriage then months of trying for what? My body to lose its mind.

I went to the dr at 6wks. He congratulated me for being pregnant. He seemed genuinely happy for us. And two weeks later he had to apologize. He had to explain it to us. My husband doesn’t understand because he didn’t know this was possible. I don’t understand why.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

I just don’t get it.

I think a chemical pregnancy is worse than a miscarriage. At least for me. Because there is no baby to mourn. There never was. I can’t justify it by saying there was something wrong and God saved my child from suffering. There is reason for this.

How will I ever trust my body again? How will I ever trust a pregnancy test again? How do I go on?