How much bleeding is too much?

I think this isn't discussed nearly enough.

When I just started getting my periods, mother mocked me saying I was an idiot who couldn't set the pad up correctly, because I would bleed through all the time at night. Of course that I knew, but it simply couldn't contain so much blood and it always leaks over, even the night ones with 5 drops. When I tried to explain that, I was invalidated. So I gave up. With time i learned how to make a "diaper" by using some old shirt on top of two pads. I'd drink herbal teas to reduce the flow. Just trying to patch things up. Tried again in my 20s but doctor found nothing abnormal. Chronic anemia and iron supplements and my hair went from strong and shiny to losing half and the remainder being thin and frizzy. At one time I considered adult diapers... (For the night, obviously I change pads timely during the day.)

They say heavy bleeding is basically normal except if you end up in hospital, on the other hand they talk about some measly teaspoons as a norm... What is "normal"?