Divorce or no?

Ok. This is going to be kind of long... and I genuinely just need advice from an outsider’s perspective. Please don’t be judgmental or nasty.

I’ve been on the fence of divorcing my husband since our first year of marriage. (We are in our 5th year now). Some crap went down between us, I don’t really want to get too much into it (no he didn’t cheat), but it wrecked my self esteem and self image to the point where I fell into this deep depression for years and just completely lost myself. It was not a great way to start the marriage at all.

He’s changed a lot since then in a good way and I’m grateful for it, however I feel like our problems have multiplied and I’m realizing that he may not be the right man for me.

Before we got married we’ve discussed what we want out of the marriage and I’ve always had this dream of a big family and just a very domestic kind of life. My husband is the opposite. He’s all about making and saving as much money as possible.

He’s a good man. He works hard to provide for our family. However he’s proving to be a bad father and he doesn’t care that he is. I don’t know what abuse actually looks like when it’s not completely obvious. Personally I think it’s wrong to spank a 1 year old. Our son has really been testing the waters on right and wrong lately and my husband has a short temper. He never hits him to the point where there’s marks on his body, but I don’t know how hard he’s actually hitting him. I just don’t know...

It does feel like a toxic environment to be raising kids in. I want more kids but my husband has clearly stated he doesn’t want anymore. That the one is enough. But I can’t stand the thought of our son growing up without a sibling.

Am I just being unreasonable? Is he? I’ve tried talking with him about everything multiple times but it just ends with no conclusion. Would divorce be the best option?