I don’t have respect for my dad (long post,sorry)

For as long as I can remember my dad has always been mean. Our relationship was great when me and my brothers were all kids but as we got older he’s only became more distant and cold. I feel bad for my mother because she does EVERYTHING for all of us and i hate the way he treats her and excepts her to do things. My dad is just a second income and kinda like furniture he just sits on the couch after work and doesn’t move or talk to anyone. He’s made no efforts to interact with us or get to know us as adults unless he HAS to. When i was in middle school he greatly abused me by tying me up with extension cords and beating with a belt, slapping me, and punching me till i was dizzy and couldn’t see at all. all because a boy 2 grades above me exposed himself to me and i told my brother who told my parents. In the morning i was covered chest down in large bruises. My mother pointed them out to him in the morning and was worried about me going to school he said he “should have given me more.” That night he also beat my older brother for trying to stand up for me and then woke my younger brother up and beat him too “just in case he did something we don’t know about” then came back and beat me more it went on for hours. My mother just watched and it’s never been the same after that. I don’t allow him to touch me in any kind of way not even a hug because it makes me cry and i hate having to do simple things for him that he asks me because it makes my blood boil. He,To this day, makes several comments about not wanting to be our dad, makes jokes at our expense, and calls us retarded often.They are “jokes” but jokes that happen too often. I just don’t have any respect for him. I wish my mother would have never met him because she doesn’t deserve it. Im 20 now but it’s greatly affected me I’m so afraid of getting married because I don’t want to end up with anyone like him so much so that I date outside my race to avoid anyone who might even remotely remind me of him. I don’t even want him to walk me down the aisle or do a father daughter dance one day because that would mean having to touch him. Him and my mom have been married since their 20s so he’s not going anywhere and it seems like now that we are older their relationship is slowly getting better but I feel like is relationship with his kids are non existent. I don’t hate my dad but I don’t respect him and don’t want to be around him.