Sorry if this is redundant

Sorry if you heard this story before. The last time I made a post and left out information, some women on here had a meltdown. 😆 But anywhom, I would like concise and logical advice.

I have a legal appointment on the 14th and I’m not too sure what to ask for. I don’t want to sound illogical and emotional even though it is effecting me that way. I have a protection order against my daughters father. To sum it up he is mentally abusive towards me. He did some things to our daughter that is questionable. Like; calling her a stupid bitch to my stomach when I was pregnant with her. Cheated on me with no protection and had sex with me the next day. Held her over the garbage can several times to get a reaction out of me. Denied her on Instagram and told me he only did that because I told him he would never see her again. Several times told me he would give up his rights in arguments. He says he says all these things because I wanted it that way.

In October we got into a heated argument because I had asked him a question about our relationship. It ended with him punching himself in the head and banging his head against the wall repeatedly. He told me he did this because he felt like hitting me. It wasn’t the first time he’s told me that though.

He wrongfully evicted me on thanksgiving in 20 degree weather (Fahrenheit) I had no where to go. Told me if I left the state he would not leave me alone and come after me for his daughter. I felt threatened by that comment. After what I witnessed him do to himself... I felt afraid. **He has taser guns, knives and a friend who owns a gun down the street.**

And now he’s trying to file for custody. Which will get thrown out because paternity hasn’t been established yet. (I am married to my son’s father but legally separated for 3 years)

Now when I meet with the lawyer on the 14th because I have a hearing coming up for the order of protection, I’m not sure what I should ask for. My sister tells me I’m wrong for not letting him see the baby. So logically thinking, in your opinion would you try to fight for supervised visitations or fight for sole custody and no visitation rights? In the end I know the judge will have his/her ruling but I don’t know my stance.

And Honestly, I just feel like not showing up and moving out of state. The hearing is causing me great anxiety. I’m up 2am thinking about it. Thinking about how the court system let me down before and maybe this is just a waste of time. But before I make any hasty decisions, I would like some insight on what you would do.