I've been married 7 years. We aren't a match made in heaven but we've been OK. Mostly we're happy. Sometimes he's too controlling. Sometimes I'm too sensitive.

We have a 4 year old boy who is a non sleeping spirited and yet a total joy. We lost baby #2 in September. Agreed in November to try again. But I noticed he went from almost demanding near daily sex no matter how tired I may be to avoidant or wanting alternative sex. Being me, I talked to him about it and he denied it was to do with not wanting a baby and swore he was on board.

(When we dated I was open about wanting a big family. He agreed. Since marriage he has shown he actively despises people who have big families)

Last night he told me he didn't really want any more.

I'm devasted. I don't want to leave him and don't want to divorce unless it's a real incontrovertible reason but how happy can I be in this life that isn't my choice? He wants riches, swanky house 1 kid. I want farmhouse big garden and a mess of kids.

Sorry for the ramble I just need to reach out.