I really love you. And I know about your ex girlfriend and the twins. You don’t know I know, but her and I were closer than you thought.

I’m so sorry the twins didn’t make it. And I’m even more sorry I was the one who told you Toby wasn’t yours. I thought you knew. You’ve been gone for four years until now. We all knew.

I wish I could promise you the children you had hoped for, and I really wish I could promise you a happy family. I’m terrified to tell you that I might not be capable of having children. Especially when you came home last night and told me how you could see yourself being a great dad and how you think about it a lot.