Relationship Advice?

Alright, hi everyone. This is a slightly weird story of how I got together with my boyfriend, so get ready-

About three years ago, I met my current bf in a school of sorts using a video game to help kids learn subjects a different way, and we’ve been gaming ever since. He’s on the west coast, I’m on the east coast, so the time zone has always been a bit of an issue but we worked around it.

Last week, for like the millionth time, he asked what I wanted to do when he came to visit, and because I’d run out of ideas to say, I half-jokingly said I’d take him to dinner and a movie. Which I would have. But apparently I was tired and called it a date ( I don’t remember really ) so the next day he reminded me and asked if I was serious. And I thought about it, really carefully ‘cause he’s a sweetheart and I’d probably be his first date, so I said yes. And ta-da, I got a boyfriend 😅

So that part isn’t the issue.

The issue now is that he’s clingy. Like, really clingy. He calls or texts me when he thinks I’m awake, he calls me before work, he calls me at the exact time I’m supposed to get off work. He wants to video call a lot of the time, and when we do, he just sorta stares at me, and when I look at him he just smiles like the dork he is. In his own words, he’s put me on a pedestal and I... I’m not sure I like it.

Don’t get me wrong, the attention was great at first, but then after about two days, he said he’d fallen in love with me. Granted, he’s like me for a really long time, but still. He’s brought up houses, kids, future plans, all if this, and we haven’t even been together a week.

I’ve had two online relationships before. The first was better then the second, but neither of them worked out.

Would it be wrong to ask him to wait until he got here and we went on the date? Just to judge if he’s this clingy in person or if it’s just the distance.

Because I do care for him... but I don’t know if it’s love yet. And if he doesn’t stop putting me on a pedestal and worshiping me in such an over the top way, even though I’ve told him to back off a bit, I just might hurt him.

I know that it’s good that he cares so much. And I know most girls would ( probably? ) love that. But as a gender-fluid individual, for me it feels restricting and makes me think I’m useless. Being treated almost like the... weaker of the two of us ( which I know I am, but that’s not the point ) irks me because I know I can do things. Carry heavy bags, go and hang out with my friends here at the mall, play video games with my other friends, make new friends at work, etc etc. But he seems to get really upset when I don’t talk to him all the time and I don’t know how to fix it.

Please. Help a girl ( it’s the easiest thing to call myself lol ) out, and explain how to tell him to back off without hurting his feelings or breaking his heart.