I’m so frustrated

I just know I have a hormonal imbalance. I’m getting a lot of acne on my chin and neck, my cycle is just getting longer and more irregular and I’m not even sure I’m ovulating. I’m currently on cycle day 57 (!!!!!) and I just got another negative pregnancy test. I know a simple solution is just go to the doctor but I’ve always been so scared of doctors. Because I’m scared of bad news and I’m petrified that I’ll get a diagnosis of not being able to have kids which has been a fear of mine since I was a young teenager. I want answers and after 8 months of trying I know I should get looked at but what if my biggest fear becomes reality?

I just needed to get these thoughts into words.