Friendships/Relationships

Have you ever had a crush on someone and they liked you back? And then you guys talk and hang out all the time? Yeah? I've had that before. Then one day we stop talking out of nowhere. Never said anything to eachother. It's the last day of school and you are both leaving. You walk past eachother, you don't say anything but you both look. You keep walking and he never chases you or tries to stop you. But when you look behind you, you notice him starring at you. Then you guys hang out in the summer. Both of you with your guys best friend. You both go over to his house for a bbq one day and your friend keeps saying it's awkward and she wants to leave. So you say something and both go home. Then something happens. Your best friend says how horrible she feels and that no matter what she is always left out and she can't stand the way your crush (also her best friend) treats her. So you feel horrible that she feels this way and is almost crying so you offer to text him for her and she says yes, and tell him how horrible he is to her and that is not fair how he treats her and you say all of this horrible mean stuff to him. You two get into a huge fight and he says he thought you were different and that he never realised how much of a bitch you really are and that you don't care about anyone but yourself. So you sit on your friends bed in her room and you cry your eyes out for what seems like hours. Your crush texts your best friend not knowing you two are hanging out together and sends her the messages. She agrees with him that you are a horrible person and says she never said any of that. She doesn't ever tell him that she felt upset. She doesn't defend you in any way so he stops talking to you. He ignores your texts and just stops talking to you. 3 years later here you are still thinking about him. You guys follow eachother on Instagram and Twitter so you can see each others posts. He has a girlfriend. You guys like eachother for almost a year and a half but never dated because you were afraid it would ruin your friendship. But deep down,  there is still that 1% of your heart that still has feelings for him. You can't seem to stop smiling when he likes your pic on Instagram and you just want to be friends again. He was your first real crush, someone that you liked for longer than a week, a month, 4 months.. Someone you liked for a year and a half. Yet you screwed up and now you guys don't talk. It's extremely clear that he has moved on and does not give two shits about you, yet you still hope that one day he is going to message you just a simple "hi" but he never does. • • • • • • • • Why do I still care? I should be beyond over this. I don't know what to do. How do you get over something like this?