I’m a vet student and I graduate in a little under 5 months. I am in the top 10 of my class and in the running for the top spot overall. I’m so incredibly proud of the hard work I’ve put in throughout high school, undergrad and now vet school. This has been my dream for as long as I can remember. But, today something changed and I’m not sure I can do this. I’m too afraid to even say it out loud and how do I tell anyone? My parents have helped me so much and I feel like I’d be throwing it in their face to give up now. I gave up so much to be where I am today. And now I’m afraid I chose the wrong path.

I’ve always known vets have a high suicide and depression rate (highest out of all professionals)- I’ve been told this pretty much my whole journey to and through vet school. Statistics were always shown to us. I always felt like it wouldn’t get to me. And I still don’t really- I’m not depressed and I don’t really think I’m at risk besides my profession. But, the disrespect that contributes to suicide and depression is what terrifies me. I’ve read countless news articles and client complaints about awful money grubbing vets. I’ve seen them on glow for years too. 99% of the time I read them and can pick out a few things that explain the high costs or the vets professional opinion. I’ve worked in vet clinics since starting as a cage cleaner in high school. They’ve always bothered me. Like when my own boyfriend took his cat into the vet to be neutered and there was a blood work abnormality. The vet asked him to bring the cat back in 2 days as this abnormality could be incredibly serious and life threatening (she’d actually prefer to keep the cat in hospital for monitoring, but understood financially that wasn’t possible). My boyfriend spoke to me and at every turn I got ‘blood work won’t change enough in 2 days’ and ‘the cats not sick he’s running around’. It didn’t matter that I told him blood work can change in hours and you don’t need clinical signs to be sick. His opinion and Dr. Google degree meant more than my medical knowledge or this vets education or years of experience it hurt so much coming from him (Long story short I blew up at him and he’s since apologized for his behaviour though we’re still dealing with it). I started questioning if I could handle this kind of thing from people close to me.

And then a Facebook story broke about a money-grubbing vet that offered surrender treatment because the owner couldn’t afford to treat the cat. The bill was high for a number of reasons (in the post it was stated the animal was unvaccinated, taken from the mother too early, had never seen a vet and had been severely sick for 5 days before seeing a vet- none of which the vet or clinic had anything to do with), but the staff of that clinic sat for hours in the office looking for options on helping out this client.

But, the emergency help fund had been depleted a week ago for a long-term client who’s dog was injured in a freak accident and they couldn’t afford treatment either. Technicians and vets offered to donate their time (meaning their own earnings, time away from family over Christmas, etc) to try to help. But it wasn’t enough as this kitten was just too sick and if they didn’t get paid they couldn’t afford their bills for the month which would mean having the power turned off, no water, inability to treat animals. I know this because I was there. I know these people- and they’d never take money just for money. They love animals and want to help, but you can’t run a practice without water. So they decided to offer surrender where the clinic takes on responsibility. At this clinic we have a foster program where people or the local SPCA will take financial responsibility for the pet, but they get the pet once it’s healthy. The original owner signs away their rights to the animal. The owner says they were forced into it and I know they weren’t- I was in the room at the time. The vet said this was an option, or there was euthanasia or treatment which could be very expensive. The owner selected surrender. And now the vet I’ve worked for for years is being slandered. This morning her practice windows had rocks thrown through them, words of ‘heartless bitch’ graffitied to our doors. Appointments are being cancelled left right and centre. The comments on the Facebook post are awful- death threats included. There are so few in support and those that show support get so much hatred back.

The vet did everything she could to help. But money constrains us. Medical care is expensive for animals too. And this terrifies me. You can do everything right. You can love animals with everything you have. You can debate going bankrupt over a kitten. And still you end up being dragged over the coals. No one would do this to a human doctor. But a vet isn’t respected in that way even though our training is incredibly similar and we actually get paid less so often our services are cheaper purely because our salaries and those of technicians are so low.

Now I’m sitting starting at my application to graduate and I don’t know if I even want to anymore. I love animals. I’ve gone into debt a few times for my own cat whose got medical issue after medical issue. I have every intention to help animals and I don’t want to take clients money. But even with charging fair prices or reducing costs and donating your own funds and time you still end up told you’re a horrible person and don’t care. This happens a lot. There’s a new story almost every week somewhere in the world. We’re constantly told new terrifying statistics in school. But this makes it real and now I don’t know if I’m cut out for this. How is any vet cut out for this?