Alone in 2018

I have never felt more alone than I did in 2018, all of my friends TTC have gotten pregnant quickly and all of them have stuck. My brother accidentally got his GF pregnant and now they are over the moon and she has the most beautiful baby bump..

We tried and tried for the whole year only to have the pure joy of seeing two pink lines & then loose our sweet baby 8 weeks later on October 1st, our second wedding anniversary. We told our family members about our loss and they cried with us and supported us for a few weeks but then everyone else moved on and I am stuck with a hole that everyone has forgotten about. I have had three periods come and go, each time breaking my heart more and more.

I don’t know how to explain how alone I have felt but I know that you all actually understand. I find myself afraid to Hope that in 2019 we will get our rainbow baby, I am afraid because along with hope often comes disappointment.

I am also to the point where I just don’t talk about it anymore because people just say “stop thinking about it and it will happen” “this is your month, I just know it will be” ..and I’m sure you have heard all the others! So here I am to share my thoughts in a safe place where people understand, thankful for an outlet that has helped me to not feel so alone.