It’s been such an emotional day for me, more so than normal.... I’ve cried about everything but I think what’s getting me most is that tomorrow I have a second interview for a job that provides amazing benefits for not only me but River (my daughter) as well, it’s a desk job so perfect for finishing out my pregnancy, and even six weeks paid maternity leave even if I went into labor the first day I start!

I’ve been so sick my entire pregnancy that i had to stop working, but being a single mom with very little support there’s no way I could get by without working, but I am terrified of leaving her after the six weeks... her father and his family are absent from our lives, and my parents are detectives with very little free time...

My support system is pretty small... and it’s driving me crazy wondering how and with who I could leave her with :(

Also terrified of day cares, but I think that’s going to be my only option ... how do you single mamas do it ?!

The anxiety of it all and how soon she’s going to be here has gotten the best of me today. Although I feel so foreign in my body lately and can’t wait to feel like myself again, apart of me wishes I could just keep her safe in here forever....

I’ve had remained pretty calm and what I thought was prepared, doing this by myself but as her due date approaches I’m doubting myself, my abilities, and worrying more than ever about failing as a mom...

Also I plan to breast feed and am so worried about getting enough breaks to pump and keep a supply, or worrying about her not taking a bottle ... eeeep how do I stop these thoughts mamas !!??