Just sitting here crying

January was suppose to be the month I delivery my son. My c section was schedule on Jan 15 and my sister in law January 4 because she’s having twins but both are due dates are the 24th. She’s having her babies Friday while I mourn my son. He was born on September 3rd, 2018 at 10:43pm at 20 weeks. His lungs were not fully developed and even though he had a heart beat I was told as he enter the world his heart will stop because his body and lungs are not strong enough to survive delivery. He was already down the birth canal when I got to labor and delivery. This is my third month ttc. Even though we pray for our rainbow baby, it does not mean i have forgot my son that was born silent. He was so precious. Always moving at the ultrasound and even turn his back to the ultrasound tech. Played criss cross when we were trying to find out his sex. He was a ball of spiciness. I have three other boys and all of them so different even in the womb. Personality definitely showed in the ultrasound and let me tell you my little angel baby Aris would of been a ball of feistiness and would’ve complete us if he was here. I love u Aris. Mommy thinks of u everyday my sweet angel baby, my sweet Aris Jax