Scared to do anything...

So, i was 11 weeks when i lost my baby in may 2018. Throughout the entire pregnancy i knew something just wasnt right, i even told everyone from the beginning and friends and family kept saying i was just paranoid. The baby never measured correctly from the beginning. Odd thing was, the second to last scan u had was promising as there was a strong hb. Not even 5 days later, the baby had no heart beat and they told me i had a miscarriage. I had spotting with that pregnancy as well... It came and went.... But with my son i never had a problem (he is now a healthy 3 year old.)

July i also had a chemical...

And now i am 6 weeks pregnant with my rainbow but i cant get myself to go to any appointments or get blood work. I am terrified, and scarred from what happened.

I initially got bw done the first day i found out i was pregnant at 10dpo... Hcg was 10. Ive been taking tesrs every day to make sure my line progression is good... And i do have an appointment when im 9 weeks. I just dont know how ill be able to look at the screen when it's time... Any advice?