How do you other NICU moms fight off depression? It's been a week since my daughter was born, and I've only been able to hold her a few times and see her for a total of about 12 hours during this past week. The NICU closes down without warning due to other patients being admitted or other babies having procedures done, then I have to wait (sometimes 10+hours) to see my daughter. Being told I can't see her when I want is almost as difficult as leaving her behind every time. I can't sleep because I just lay here wondering what she's doing and wishing she was here with me. I don't have anyone I can talk to in person about this because all my friends had healthy full term babies and were able to take them home. If they want to see their baby, they walk into the next room and see them. If they want to hold their baby, they go grab them... They don't have to drive to the hospital hoping it's open and ask a nurse if it's ok. They didn't have to stand there and watch while a nurse gave their baby their very first bath. The baby's father and I aren't together and he only texts me every 2 days or so to see how she is, so I don't have him for emotional support. He lives over 1000 miles away, so he hasn't even seen her other than pictures. Like I said, I have no one to talk to about this so I just sit around dwelling on what all could go wrong and blaming myself for the whole situation. I kept getting more and more stressed out when I was in the hospital trying to keep from having her, then I finally just was super stressed and my water broke. I know there could have been something else I could have done... Now she's the one paying for it and living her first week of life spending more time with nurses than her own mother. She probably thinks one of them is her mom. I've only changed one of her diapers out of the 50 that's she's had. How do you guys do it? Seriously?