Dr stuck finger in my ass without consent during delivery

It was really pretty traumatic for me. They just assumed I wouldn't feel it, I think, and I had to ask "what is that" because I suddenly realized they had put something in me without my consent or even prior knowledge. It made me feel like I my vulnerability was taken advantage of and like I had been violated by someone I should have been able to trust

Has this happened to anyone else? Am I stupid that this still bothers me?

My SO wants me to move past it and be fine with anal play during sex but I'm just not there. Anytime he even goes near there it brings it all back and I relive it.