PLEASE TALK ME OFF THE EDGE!

Okay, so I am 28+1 and I have always been pretty skinny. Right before I got pregnant though, I was gaining weight (I am sure it was due to how frequently I was skipping meals and smoking cigs, enjoying recreational fun, and drinks during the week which would lead to fast food) (I went from always being around 135ish to being 150)

I got pregnant and by week 12 I was 156.

Cool. No big deal.

Week 28 and I am 194. Let’s do the math here (from 156 to make me feel better) that’s a 38lb weight gain and I still have 12 weeks to go! I’m going to have a 60lb weight gain by the end of this!

I have a stepson, his mother had him when she was 22.. I am 31.. I’ve always heard how her body bounced right back after. I’m fearful mine will not. I’m fearful I won’t lose any weight while nursing.

I’ve not eaten great, but it hasn’t been bad either.. could be better. Is there anything I can do THIS late in the game?????

I need help and I’m genuinely freaking out and NOT okay.