Not happy with my birth story

This is my first pregnancy and first baby. I had a textbook, easy pregnancy. My water broke at 39 weeks at 8pm. Contractions hit hard, dilated at 5 when I got to the hospital, I got an epidural 3 hours later and was at an 8. They told me to nap while I labored down but I was impatient and wanted to start pushing. 2 hours later I was ready for the doctor so I could push him out. She came in at 7am. I pushed for another hour. She reached in and turned him, and had both hands pulling on my sit bones during pushing and finally told me he wasn’t going to fit. I got sent for an emergency c section-the thing I most wanted to avoid. Baby boy was born covered in bruises from being stuck, they had to reach in and push him back out of the birth canal, he had a huge rub mark/open sore on the top of his head from pushing so hard, got sent to the NICU immediately.

I feel like a failure. I couldn’t even get my own baby out. He wasn’t huge, 7lbs13oz, I just couldn’t do it. If this was 100 years ago I guess I would have just died in child birth.

Everyone says it’s not important how he got here, just that he’s safe and healthy, but it was important to me. I’m mad at myself because I couldn’t do it. It was painful and traumatic and I have zero sense of accomplishment. I should feel proud of myself that I made it through labor and that I have a healthy baby boy, but I don’t.