Some days are easier than others, but..
It’s always so exhausting! I feel the need to rant/vent. I’m a ftm to a 5mo old little boy. During the fourth trimester I was lucky enough to have my husband off work and my mom staying over to help. I don’t know how I would have survived that time without them. Fast foreword to now, my son is pretty good overall, but with my parents living 8 hrs away and my husband having gone back to work (he’s gone for 3-5 days at a time) I feel so overwhelmed sometimes! Most of the time, actually. I realize my life has changed and that my son comes first, but I just need a break. I feel like “my time” is after babe is in bed- that starts around 8pm and he’s usually down by 9pm. Once he’s in bed I usually go around the house picking up toys, clothes, stray bottles and such. Run the dishwasher, make the next days formula, etc.., when I’m finished (and exhausted) it might be 12-1am. By that point I just want to lay down and sleep. My son will wake up at 6 for his first feed and usually go back to sleep for an hour or two afterwards (not always) and the day literally repeats itself. Some days I just get so angry that I’m so worn out. The days I do try to take time for myself all the other stuff mounts up and is there facing me the next time I get a minute. It’s not everyday, nor do I feel depression/anxiety all the time. I really enjoy watching my son grow and love him more than life itself. It’s just the bad days, the ones where I get no break and my son is screaming no matter what I do. The days I have no help. I just feel so lost and there’s so many things to take care of...I just can’t figure out how to prioritize my time and feel guilty if I’m not constantly entertaining my son...sigh, rant over.