I feel like crap

I’m posting anon because I’m scared of the back lash I may get. I turn 20 at the end of April, my husband and I have been together for two years now and we already have an almost 1 year old child together(Feb 7th he’ll be a year). I found out New Years eve we’re going to have another and I’m about 4 months along. I haven’t had a period so they’re unsure in the due date but I have an anatomy scan on the 25th. Anyways, I really don’t know how to word this as it’s going to come out so terribly but there’s no other way to say it... Am I wrong for not wanting this?

And like please don’t get me wrong, I am excited as FUCK for this baby as I want to have a big family with him but I wasn’t ready so soon. I’m trying to break my son of co sleeping so maybe it’s just the stress and sleep deprivation but I just wish it wouldn’t have happened so soon and I’m scared that this is really going to mess me up. I have no one else to talk to about this as everyone will just take it the wrong way. I’m in the process of trying to find a therapist as I’ve had depression and anxiety that worsened after I had my son. I feel like a terrible mother for even saying or posting this but I needed to vent to someone really badly. I understand that this may be wrong but please go about any hate or mean comments in a somewhat lenient way if you can. I hurt so much right now

I also wanted to add that I will in no way, shape, or form ever abort or put my baby up for adoption (unless abortion is medically necessary but that’s different). It’s just my personal views and I would never be able to live with that guilt