Tomorrow night is the end, I'm going to see a lawyer. Finally going to end this nightmare of a marriage that I have been struggling with for a few years with a narcissist who has made my life hell. A marriage I was coerced into that I don't think I really wanted in the first place. I feel like I'm being coerced to stay in. I'm nervous.

I had left a couple times and in between packed all my stuff and wanted to go but got mind f'd into staying. Now I'm back under the same roof since our son was sick and I had no where else to go but stay w/ him since he doesn't work and the damn daycares kept calling him to pick him up when I was working. I have a place to go now, I just don't know how or when to go there. How to give him paperwork. Plus, we are supposed to get like 2ft of snow in 2 days so that doesn't help my decision making.

I know I'm not perfect. But I have mentally checked out of this relationship a long time ago. After all the verbal abuse it is still scary to think about ending it. He says he has changed but there is still gaslighting and control.

Please tell me I'm doing the right thing. I just want my soul back.