If you haven’t seen my previous post, two nights ago I was using the bathroom and I heard a pop and I had a powerful gush of fluid come out and I was pretty certain my water had broke. Me and my SO rushed to the ER, baby looked good on ultrasound, they did a pH test and said that my water didn’t break but I didn’t believe them. The next morning I began to have bleeding and I called my ob and they told me to go back to the ER. After a long day there, they checked the baby and he still had a heartbeat however my fluid was low. So putting my story together with the ultrasound my water definitely had broken. They admitted me to labor and delivery where they gave me three options: I could wait and see if my fluid builds back up and hopefully carry my baby to about 20 weeks where the hospital would help the baby in their NICU, I could have a surgical procedure done to remove the baby and the placenta because they were worried it wouldn’t fully come out on it’s own, or they could induce my labor and I could give birth to my baby and be able to hold him. So I chose to wait and have hope, and just follow whatever my body decided. As time progressed my bleeding picked up and before I went to bed I had a pretty bad headache and I was thinking maybe it’s my hormones are changing which wasn’t a good sign. So the next morning they came into my room to do an ultrasound and our baby didn’t have a heartbeat. We were so sad so from there we decided that I would give birth and deliver our 15 week old baby. They had induced me with some pills and it was painful, I was too scared to take pain meds. I had a terrible contraction and I decided to call the nurse to get pain medicine but as soon as she walked in I felt him coming out. So our son was born, his body was lifeless but so beautiful and small. I couldn’t believe how human he looked, his eyes were still fused shut but his hands and feet were perfect. His little mouth was gorgeous, he had my nose and his dads mouth and chin. He even had one flat foot like mine and one arched one like his father. His name is Macklynn Lee (named after his great grandfather Mack and his grandmother’s middle name Lynn, and his middle name Lee is the same as his grandmother Michelle). It is so hard to go through something like this and if anyone else is going through the same I am so sorry and this is probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to live through. But to me my son had a life, and my son still lives through me his mom and his dad and we are always going to have a special place for him. After all, we were told we couldn’t get pregnant without help and Macklynn was conceived naturally; he is a miracle baby. It was also nice to have such a great nursing staff at the hospital that participates in a program for babies who pass. They gave us great comfort.