Does anyone have this issue with their husband/boyfriend?

Question

My husband wants a baby. He wants a baby now. He said he is okay with trying. But when it gets to that time to BD, he backs down, says he doesn't want to, his back hurts, etc. I don't know what to do anymore. We arnt the typical couple. We may(TMI) have sex once a week, maybe. We are just to tired after a long day. We love each other and arnt have any issues. That's just how we are. So when I get close to my fertile window I tell him we have to pick it up a bit. But he wants to conceive a baby without trying. Meaning all natural, no preseed, ovulation tests, etc. he just wants it to happen. But that can't happen if we do it once a week and that's pushing it. So I don't know what to do. Any advice please?

Answer

I went through this with my guy also. We don't bd that often because he's on a medication that makes it hard for him to finish, so it take a the fun out of if for him. Of course, though I can relate (like most ladies, I had to learn to relax etc) it was really frustrating when it came time to try! Basically, we could maybe do it every other day. But if he was anxious about it, we didn't get very far.
My solution was to track my bbt, and use opks. He knew I was, but took care of that end myself. He had to take his pills either at night or morning, depending on what our schedule was, to give him the best chance of finishing. 
I think a big part of it was him finally ACTUALLY being okay with it, not just saying he was. For quite a few months it was pretty hard to get him to cooperate with the every other day/ med/ etc plan. 
We did finally get a bfp, but lookig back, after a year of "trying", we really only actually earnestly one or two months in a row. The first I messed up my bbt analysis, but the second wee were successful using opks and bbt. 
So, this isn't the most heartening of stories, but it at least tells you you aren't alone and you will likely have success sooner than you think. 
Our partners say they are ready, but then, maybe that's only half true and it takes them some more time to really get comfortable with the idea.
Try to communicate and be patient.
I know I'm still struggling with a resentment about not having enough sex, and I don't even need to now. 
Best of luck!

Answer

He doesn't have to know you use pre seed. My hubs knows and doesn't bother him but I've had friends tell me they used it, he never knew and they got preggo

Answer

Oh one more thing. I feel like it's easy to get obsessed with doing the deed and making sure that he finishes inside you that we tend to skip the foreplay when TTC and it gets really boring for them.y husband loves head and a few days before o I gave him head until he told me to stop bc he was going to cum. For the next few days after that he was much keener on having sex bc I think it was more fun and letting him decide to cum inside of me made him feel less like a sperm donor which is generally how I think they feel when TTC.

Answer

We are ttc, but my husband hates when I say I'm ovulating! He says it takes the romance out, and honestly I have to agree. We enjoy plenty of intimacy throughout the week though. I'd stop pushing it on your fertile times and try to increase overall amount you have sex throughout the month with sexy texts, lingerie, new places etc. I mean you only have a 33% chance of concieving even if you ha r sex in your ovulation day,  so once a week could take a long time. good luck!

Answer

Have you considered taking supplements to increase his libido/energy. I know a lot of people recommend ginseng or any of the sperm boost stuff from fairhaven health. Like fertilaid for men? It's still natural because it's just vitamins.

Answer

Same issues. My husband gets stressed when I try to initiate and thinks I'm obsessed and it's a turn off for him. I get so mad and literally can't sleep around O time and it causes a lot of tension between us if we don't have sex. I can't tell you that I've figured it out but there are some things that I think are helping. A) I use preseed around O time, it's expensive to waste it but better to waste it then kill the mood getting up to put it in before you really get into it - he doesn't know. B) I try to help him relax on the days I'm hoping to get lucky c) try to reduce fights etc in the week before and do things to try and connect d) plan weekends away when you can, getting away from kids, pets, chores helps set the mood e) do something active together f) don't do what I've done multiple times and freak out on him - it emmasculinates him and makes him feel like a failure which trust me, is the opposite of what you want.

Answer

I hear ya, the acronyms are confusing.  Especially when you don't know them :)

Answer

Don't tell him when you are ovulating. Just turn him on. They feel too much pressure and hubby says he wants to make love not have forced sex.

Answer

We had a similar problem some months ago. It was a combination of the both of us. Our work in the service industry can be more labor intensive and we were overworked, overtired, and not feeling it. So I tried to switch it up. We bd before work so we're not so tired most of the time. We give each other massages and take care of each other (which generally leads to an intimate moment). Because of that we've bd'd this month more than ever. Next week we've got to take a break (for medical reasons, I have lupus) but who knows maybe this was our month? Either way when I look back there wasn't a thing I'd change about this month. We had fun and grew as a couple!
Lots of love and support to the both of you!

Does anyone have this issue with their husband/boyfriend?

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