Home birth with toddler?

Question

Hey All, I am wondering if anyone has done a home birth before? And also if they have had their other children there for it? 
We want to do a homebirth this time around and we have a 18 month old. I don't know if it would be ok to keep him home with us when I am in labor as I am worried it might scare him and he won't understand. 
But I also don't want to send him away for hours and have him come home to everything different and have him feel like we sent him away. 
I personally feel like birth is a very natural thing and that it would be good for him to be home with us, so he understands, but I'm just super conflicted because he is still really young. I would really love some opinions and also personal experiences! Thank you!

Answer

My daughter (now 7) was present for both of her brother’s births. The first when she was 3 and the second right before she turned 5.
Here are my recommendations: 
- have a helper for your big. My SIL was there for #2, and it made a huge difference. She was there to make lunch, sit and watch a show, etc. My daughter was around me for most of my labour (it was only 4.5 hours) but the times she needed the break, I was glad to have my sister so I could keep my husband.
- watch YouTube videos of home birth together (just pre watch them). This one was HUGE. We watched all different kinds of births; calm ones, loud ones, mom in a tub, mom in a river 🤦🏼‍♀️, mom in a bed, etc. We watched all the videos, and often. I explained that sometimes mommy’s are really loud because they have to work so hard to get baby out, but that she is okay. We watched videos again when we were having #3, and it was really good too. He was 21 months when little brother came, and all he did was lie in my bed and watch paw patrol while I was in the pool (45 min labour, so he didn’t really have much time to be interested). 
- make a big brother/sister backpack! This was just fun to give to the kids after baby came. We had a big bro/sis shirt, a stuffie, and some treats in there. They loved them!
I’ve loved having my kids present for the births, and when this one comes they’ll be there again! My favourite has always been the pictures of their reaction right when baby comes. ❤️

Answer

This was in the thick of it with #2. We basically trained our daughter (3yo) to be my doula. She’d bring me water, put a cold cloth on my head, and just hold me. 😭 We still talk about this all the time.

Answer

I've got a 2 ½ year old and I'm due in 4 weeks we're planning a home birth and toddler will be here if it's night (she's a very sound sleeper) if it's day grandparents will have her but we've heavily involved her throughout the pregnancy and she knows what's happening I can imagine it being confusing for her though and even more so for a younger child, we've got her a present from the baby so she feels special and that it's more about her becoming a big sister than anything else

Answer

This was shortly after #3 was born! His was super fast. Our son was in our bed watching paw patrol while I was in the pool, completely oblivious. My husband had to run and grab our daughter from her bed and move our son to the side of the pool so they could see the birth! He almost missed it in the 2 minutes of moving the big ones. 😂

Answer

I dont know the rules for home birth. I watched a Youtuber Emily Norris and the day after birth she still went to the hospital. I guess Ill talk to my Ob at my next appointment ill be 17 weeks

Answer

I plan on having a home birth this time around. My son will turn 4 in July and baby is due August. I also have a 12 year old step daughter that will be welcome to attend if we happen to have her at that moment and as long as she is comfortable.  My sister will be there as my doula and my boyfriend will be there for any other support I need. Yes I will also have my midwife there but the point of my story is that I will welcome my two children to be there with us. If my son is too loud or just bothersome to me at the moment, my sister, step daughter or boyfriend can escort him to a different room and watch him or start a movie for him, etc.

Answer

Just another perspective- my daughter was 2 when I had our son at home. We ended up having family take her while I was in labor. My midwife said sometimes women can have a hard time stepping out of “mom” mode to get into “birth” mode and that rang a bell for me! Now my kids are 6 and 4 and planning another home birth. For me personally I think I will have a better birth if I know they are being cared for by someone else. I love all the photos and videos of kids at birth but for me, personally, I feel like it would make my labor longer.

Answer

My son will be 18m when my daughter is born. We had him at home and I plan to have her at home as well. We're planning to have my in laws pick him up when I start labor. It's mostly because if this labor is anything like the first, I won't be able to take care of him. I spent most of my first labor in bed kicking my husband because my contractions started at 8 minutes apart and 30 seconds long. He was timing then for me and I couldn't really talk. So I want my guy to be able to play and get all the attention he needs. I also want my husband to be able to take care of me. If my son were older and could entertain himself and not be a danger of getting into everything I would definitely have him there, but I think it's safest and the most fair to have him out of the house. We plan to have my in laws bring him back over to meet baby sister after she's born but spend the night at their house so we have 24 hours to get into breastfeeding and making sure she's healthy.

Answer

my son will also be 18 months when #2 is born :) first was a homebirth and second bery well may be as well. my ideal plan would be for my mother to stay at our house and distract/entertain our 18 month old while i labor, get it down for his nap and feed him etc (since labor may be long) she could take him outside to play or put on his shows for him and just be there to take his mind off mommy being in the other room.
im a pretty quite laborer for the most part but if i sounded distressing, the backyard should be comfortable for him and fine.
now the only issue with my ideal plan is that we live in a different country from my mom lol we actually have no family here and recently moved so no friends either 🤷🏾‍♀️ but if you have family near by thats what i’d suggest! that way he can stay home and come in to see baby when all is ready, and have some bonding time with a family member (that maybe he often sees anyway) so it make it feel less strange and more familiar to him :) if the toddler keeps wondering where mommy is he can be told shes getting baby ready so we can see baby brother soon etc

Answer

I'm 5wks with my second and my 1st is 4, will be almost 5 when baby is due. I'm conflicted for the same reasons on whether to allow my daughter there or not. Shes very intuitive and I'm afraid me screaming/being in pain will upset her, but I also want her to have that experience with us as a family, and I dont want to send her away for who-knows-how-many hours. My labor&delivery with her was 28hrs, so I don't know that I would feel comfortable with her being away for that long. Plus I think that I would be to distracted and worried about how shes doing, if she were there I'd at least know shes okay. So, I guess it just depends on preference... my boyfriend and I decided not to decide until closer to the date, if she matures enough to understand a little better what's happening, then she will most likely be there.

Home birth with toddler?

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