Feeling awkward at the moment

Summer

Soo...I am sitting here at planned parenthood...and getting sick to my stomach...I am here as a support person and a driver for my mom who is having an abortion...not to put her business out there but I'm like feeling split about this...I love my mom with everything in me weve been through so much me and her alone and just the whole family...but her doing this erks me and pokes a certain spot in my body because I'm trying to conceive myself and had misscarriages and trouble getting pregnant i have no kids...she has 4 daughters 23 21 16 and 7 years old and two step daughters 5 and 4 as well...she's got two granddaughters from my older sister and my mom has been dying for her grandson and that's where I'm trying here...but whag erks me is this has got to be the 4th procedure she's gotten in the last 2-3 years...and it hurts me because I just couldn't do it myself although I know my mom situation and as to why she's doing what she's doing and she's upset as well but hides it like she doesn't care :( I support her always as she always supports me so i am here for her but sitting in this room and seeing all these people here for this reason makes me want to throw up honestly :( and like I just really don't know how to feel because I want my baby so bad and everyone here is just throwing there's away like their disposable and I do understand not everyone is doing it because they want to or can and there could be medical reason behind it or whatever everyone's got some kind of reason I just can't help but feel a bit heated and upset about being here....sorry for the long post i just needed to say something to someone I felt like i was gonna explode...😭😭😔😔💔💔