I’m an asshole

Why did I meet the right guy at the wrong time. The guy I’m with is the kinda of guy you marry. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 19. He is my first kiss. I’m now 19 and he’s 22. He is the most sweetest guy I can’t even describe to you how wonderful he is! But I can’t help it since he’s my first boyfriend/kiss, I want to explore more experience more but I don’t want to lose him and I don’t want to be with anybody else I just think about it 😭