I don’t know how to make a long story short but basically this is my 4th baby, and it’s been the hardest pregnancy yet both physically and emotionally. My husband and I had a miscarriage before this and I really wanted this baby. Through this pregnancy though my husband has had issues with drinking too much and we have almost split twice in the last year because if it. He’s gotten better about the drinking. He went from drinking almost every night and getting buzzed or drunk to now maybe once a week. But even the once a week seems too much sometimes, especially when I don’t know what kind of mood he’s going to come home in, or even when he’s going to come home.

Since I’m due Friday he’s been staying home and not drinking in case I go into labor.

Another issue we have is finances. I’m the breadwinner in the family and emotionally he struggles with this. We were together when I got the house we live in, and we picked the house together, but the mortgage is in my name alone, I put the money down for it, we have separate checking accounts because he’s not responsible with his money and the mortgage and all of the household expenses come out of my checking account. However after we got married I put joint tenancy on the deed, so his name is on the deed. Well since I’ll be on maternity leave I’ll only be bringing home about 35% of what I normally make. So I told him I need him to help more financially during this time. I normally don’t ask much from him financially because I make more and he can barely pay his bills as it is (he has a lot of credit card debt and child support/alimony for kids from a previous marriage.)

The other day his sister and brother in law cane to stay with us and the brother asked if it was my house or if we got it together. I told him we were together when we got the house but I paid for it. My husband got all hurt saying that now he “feels like a guest” and that why did I have to say that I paid for it?? I apologized telling him it was a foolish prideful thing for me to say, that I didn’t mean it the way it came out, and that his name is on the deed and we are married so it is our house and it doesn’t matter if I pay for it or not, it’s still our house together.

He also constantly throws in my face when we fight that it’s ultimately “my house” because I paid for it. So I asked him if he could stop throwing this in my face when he’s mad at me and I will always tell people we bought it together.

Well here we are 3 days later and he is still mad about what I said to my brother in law, despite me apologizing over and over. I was going to get induced yesterday because of gestational diabetes but then dr changed their mind after ultrasound because baby was doing ok. So I asked him if he has to go back to work since I didn’t get induced like we thought and he got mad that I asked that and told me not to worry he would help me financially when I wasn’t even asking because of money, I was just asking because I didn’t know what his boss had said he could do. He made a comment that “he’d rather be at work than home dealing with me” which really hurt me and I spent half the day yesterday crying.

I just don’t understand what I’m doing wrong in this relationship. I feel like I’m punished for being successful and being able to buy the house we live in. I feel like he’s sees things as “you vs me” instead of us being husband and wife. I feel no hope for the future of our relationship as it appears we will be fighting all the way till I go into labor. I love him and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I keep trying and trying to make things work and it gets me no where except hurt all over again.