So, I have come out about this before, but I’ve been struggling lately and need some assurance and reminders of what life is really about.

In the 7th grade I developed an eating disorder. Around freshman year of high school, I still had the thoughts, but God gave me the strength to push past them and self-recover. Also, I got a boyfriend. We’ve now been together for almost 4 years and I’ve literally neverrrrr been happier. So as one would expect, I gained weight. Not fast, but steadily. Now, I’m beginning to miss the way I looked then, and I continue to regret the food I eat, even the ones I had previously labeled as “safe foods.” I workout, but I think holding my metabolism back for so long, it finally caught up and it’s storing fat wherever it needs and so my body is holding onto it so I don’t go back into the mode it once was.

Anyway, I am a devout follower of Jesus and so knowing the faithfulness and truth the Word brings, it’s still easy, when allowed, for satan to attack my thoughts. If you believe in God or not, the fact that a fellow human is struggling shouldn’t raise barriers. Talking helps. I tend to hold things back, so I need someone to talk to who understands. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss having the small body I once had.

But I’m still working on it.

I thought I’d share this little life story and life update on <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>. I hope y’all don’t mind. But also, I’ll share some pictures during my ED, versus now. I don’t think I want that life back, but it’s so hard not to miss it.

Below is 8th grade prom- I had began recovery and slowly gaining weight. (Left)

Below is when I was slowly entering recovery. I had peanut M&Ms for snack at the movies!

This was freshman year- I don’t even remember having a jawline like that lol

This was freshman year I think- my skinny lil lets :(

This was summer after freshman year- I remember thinking my belly and arms looked so huge!

This was a pic for my 8th grade prom dress :(

This was sophomore year- where I took recovery more serious.

8th grade- ate Chick-fil-A for supper and that’s it.

(Left) I thought my legs looked so big.

Here’s back in October of 2018. I love this man. And gained a lil booty.

Here’s ya after Christmas- I spy some boobies I didn’t have before!!

Here’s two days ago. My muscular legs can hike for hours on end now.

Here’s ya in Oct. a lil belly but I’m telling myself it’s A-OK!!!

Who would’ve ever thought I’d buy a *bikini*??????

(Yes that was me who originally posted this bikini!!)

Thanks for listening to my TEDtalk. Lol.