I’ve known this guy since I was this tiny 7th grade cheerleader and he was the star of the 8th grade basketball team. So about 4ish years. We’ve always been close and I’ve always loved him, He’s been my best friend for years. We never tried dating or anything until last October. It was almost like it was meant to be that way. No awkward phase, no “are we ruining our friendship” problems, it felt 110% natural. We’ve had our ups and downs since. And we were never OFFICIALLY dating. but if you were to see us in public you’d instantly think we’re a couple. We actually tried going back to being just friends and we couldn’t, like it was almost as if we were like “no we’re meant to be together”. He’s the only guy my parents have ever been okay with. He’s became a part of my family. My siblings love him, my entire family loves him, I love him. I can’t picture myself being with anyone else. But recently things went to hell.

He took a trip to visit his family in Texas, and came back so excited because he decided to move there. We live in this toxic town in Illinois. Where everyone hates the place so much but loves it too much to leave. And the ones who do move are the lucky ones. I thought he was just considering it or would be moving after he graduates next year. But no. He’s moving at the end of February. In a month. And it’s killing me.

I’m happy for him. But I’m so angry. He’s had a shitty life here, he deserves to be able to restart. But he’s restarting without me. I keep telling him it won’t be the same but he’s stuck on the “one call away” mindset. But it’s not one call away when our schedules are completely distant and we slowly stop talking and suddenly we’re just old friends. I’m basically ranting at this point I’m sorry.

My point is, I’m happy he’s getting a fresh start, he deserves it. But it’s like he didn’t even take into consideration his friends and family here. It’s like he forgot the impact it’d have on everyone. I love him so much. I can’t imagine my life without him, I don’t want to. But long distance doesn’t work. We’ve tried to just be friends. Now we barely talk or hang because he knows I don’t want him to move and I know I can’t get completely attached because he’s just gonna leave. So what should I do? Should I let him go and end the relationship? Should I fight and try to make long distance work? Am I thinking too much into this? I’m a mess. I don’t want to lose him but I think I already Did.