My husband is the only man I’ve had a real relationship with. We have been together for 7 years. He left me for a year last year (cuz he wants to control where I go, what I wear, and who I talk to and gets mad when I don’t let him control it), but we got back together. Since then, I just don’t feel like I’m in love with him. He loves me, I can see it in his daily actions. But I just don’t think I’m in love with him. I can’t tell him my honest opinion without him getting mad about it; if we don’t have sex at least once a week, he gets very mean and accuses me of cheating on him; I don’t feel as though I can confide in him and he will support me; everything I do is wrong; he refused to get his GED despite promising me he would do it; he goes through my private belongings and gets angry when i talk to a friend about my life, but refuses to problem solve with me or let me complain without taking it personally; he doesn’t really help a lot a home and he’s very messy.. the list goes on and on. Since we’re not connected emotionally anymore, I’m not as attracted to him anymore and it makes me not want to have sex, which makes him pissy. I can’t imagine starting a family with someone who doesn’t emotionally support me, and this doesnt even tap into our financial issues (which are huge because he doesn’t help like he should).

The problem is, I have a personality that does not allow me to make decisions based on my own happiness. We have an established life. We have dogs. He loves me. I can’t break someone’s heart for my own happiness, I can’t do it. I need someone to help me come up with a rational argument for what my next move is. I don’t want to stay. But I CANNOT leave or even be happy with staying without a logical, rational reason. I’m so conflicted. I’m so miserable. I’m desperate for a solution.