You guys. The other day at my OB’s office I did something horrible. I asked a woman when she was due. AND THEN. SHE TOLD ME. SHE WAS NOT PREGNANT. And I wanted to disappear into my seat and reappear in the safety of my car so I could escape the awkwardness. BUT LET ME EXPLAIN.

So we’re sitting there. Packed waiting room as always. And this rather heavy set woman (not that I care or would ever typically even notice a thing like that because hello, I’m 32 weeks pregnant and look like a fucking beach ball so no shame) is sitting next to me. And she starts casual conversation with me. Nice, right? In the middle of our conversation she starts mentioning how she’s excited to be here for her ULTRASOUND. And then about how much her BACK IS HURTING. And I’m like yeah girl, I feel you. My back hurts constantly these days, can’t wait for this baby to be out. AND THEN IT HAPPENS. I SAID THE WORDS. THAT I COULD NOT TAKE BACK. I was like, I’m due in March, how about you?

And she looks at me. And she says. “I’m not pregnant.”

And I said OH MY GOD IM SORRY. And she was such a sweetheart BUT IT GOT WORSE because she says “Oh don’t worry about it! We’ve been trying for like three months but it hasn’t happened yet. I’d love to be pregnant.”

And I wanted. To die. Like the fact that she wa actively trying to get pregnant and my ignorant ass just asked her if she was pregnant like WHAT THE FUCK. Horrible. It was horrible.

I didn’t realize my doctors office is also just like, a regular women’s clinic. That you can get sent there for ultrasounds for all sorts of shit. Like, I thought if you needed an ultrasound you went to a radiologist but I WAS WRONG.

I guess she was there to get an ultrasound on her knee because it’s damaged and that’s why her back was hurting 😭😭😭

Even retelling this story here I can feel my whole face burning. Fuck. So embarrassing.