Sorry I’m posting anonymously but I’m embarrassed. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t even have any friends to talk to. I’ve been admitted to the hospital and psychiatric facilities twice for severe post partum depression since my daughter was born on Nov. 12. I see a therapist once a week and a psychiatrist once a week. I’m on medication for depression that’s safe for breastfeeding (I pump and do formula too). Wellbutrin, lamictal and seroquel. I was prescribed lithium as well but haven’t taken it because it’s not approved for breastfeeding. But even my psychiatrist had to refer me to a more intensive outpatient care facility (I start on Friday) because she couldn’t provide me with all the help I need. I have seriously bad thoughts, I would never hurt my daughter but I’m worried about myself. I feel as though demons are following me because they know I was contemplating doing something bad to myself. I feel evil presences around me. I know this is called psychosis due to good old education, and I know it’s serious, but knowing what it’s called doesn’t make me feel any better. My daughter’s dad recently broke up with me because he thought I was cheating (I was not). I told him how I feel and he said he doesn’t want to be a part of it. And he watches her a lot due to my condition but doesn’t talk to me because he thinks I was unfaithful. He was my best friend. He understood what I’m going through the most out of anyone. I feel as though I’m begging for help and nobody understands. I have “resources” but hotlines really don’t help me with situations like this. I’ve tried hotlines. I’m so worried I won’t be able to be there for my little one because of depression. Does anyone know of meds that are safe for breastfeeding that help with PPD/ PP Anxiety, or PP Psychosis? I feel as though the outpatient psychiatric heath care will be my last line of defense against PPD and I’m so scared.