I feel completely nuts after being with my ex partner of 4 years. We have two sons that I raise 95% of the time. Our second son was born a week ago. He wasn’t around the entire pregnancy for second baby but in and out my life because he is a sex addictive and always needs to try new pu***y!! For 4 years i forgave him for lying and cheating on me. For his fetish to prostitution yet , he claims he is afraid of it and he knows it’s bad and he would stop but every time we argue he disappears and won’t talk to me for weeks and I know he sleeps with other women during that time.

I stayed for a long time because I was obviously sick in love and so badly wanted to have a family. Now since the new baby is here he is acting like he is a good dad now and has concerns but not once was around for Thai pregnancy. I hate him! He ruined my head. My heart! Damaged my thoughts of Love. He Never gave me affection or telling me nice things like he miss me etc. unless it’s an occasion.

I got fed up !

Now I think every man will lie to me. Or I just think people lie and do

Bad horrible things and I need my guard up.

I just had the baby a week ago and I just get emotional and go into tears thinking how I gave 4 years to this man who hurt me. Why can’t I stop caring ?!

I don’t trust anyone now and

I just pick arguments and assume I know the truth about anything.

When my ex cheated on me. I asked him over and over to be honest. He said it was all in my head and

I really started to think it was. Maybe I was being jealous and crazy but Then like a year ago i saw in his phone he really did cheat and during times I was away or sleep or after his work. I saw women he met with and paid for sex. This was right before I got pregnant again or maybe I was pregnant.

My point is since then I am always cautious and I don’t know why I suddenly feel crazy and upset and

I don’t want that lying cheating ass hole around, but the other part of me saddens and want a family for

Me and the kids.

My new baby is in NICU and not home with me yet ... that bothers me too he was born premature. I hate my ex for ruining my dreams. Feel lost ...

Broken Mommy. ☹️