Been crying 😭 all day NO JUDGEMENT ALLOWED!!!!!!🤔🤨

Soooooo....... I’m gonna try to make this as brief as possible but, NO PROMISES LOL 😂 just wanna vent a lil and give u guys a lil insight on why I’m feeling like this ok so really quick I’m 25 Me n my husband of 2 years but together for 3 n still counting 😫🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 in gods name may it continue to stay that way cause no matter what we’ve been thru together I truly can see myself being with no one else for the rest of my life but him n our Pitney (kids)

Ok so we just had a lil baby girl about almost 8 months ago now he has 3 from previous n I have 1 from previous so together we have 5 kids n I wouldn’t trade being a mother for nothing in the world I absolutely love ❤️ our kids aside from dealing with his ignorant ass BM’s (2 of them he has 2 BM’s) which is also why I’m so happy that I have the relationship I have with god cause ladies n gents my temper 😡😡😡😡is ........ya ima save that story for another day lol 😂. (but I am currently in transition of getting help to manage it even more even tho me praying 🙏 has did tremendous things for me in that area but anyways 3rd one is from my lil 🇯🇲 King lol (husband) n now I took a (PT) today (pregnancy test) and low n behold what my biggest fear was has now become a blessing as well as mind blowing reality so.... Yupp it’s happening again the only reason why I have been cryin ever since I found out what I felt like god had been showing me a lil signs here in there thru the Holy Spirit I just didn’t wanna accept it because before my husband came in my life I was in a horrible/Toxic abusive relationship with an ex who no longer is here he was shot n killed in 2016 (had my first by him) but, not gonna go in it too much cause this post would be almost like a book lol 😂 plus it’s emotional as hell to revisit it all still haven’t fully grieved over it all fully......🤦‍♀️but any who I just have a fear of feeling like if I get into a argument or w.e with the man I am now with today I don’t wanna feel like “here we go again another life god has blessed us with nd boom I’m back at square one ☝️ as a single mother now don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with single mother life at all because right when before I met my husband n I was a single mother I did what ever I had to do to make sure my child was takin care of PERIOD. I didn’t care how many jobs I had to work or W.e I was willing to do what I had to do to make sure my child didn’t have to go thru what I did as a child growing up in this crazy ass world we live in today 😪🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ but, again I’ve always been a strong believer in god ugh I’m tryna not cry guys lol because god has always been there when I felt like nobody else was or felt like nobody else understood me as a woman as a mother as a human being period but anywho I said that to say this the man I fell in love with whom even despite our disagreements; because at the end of the day marriage is work and we fight thru it all together which is why I’m still with him til this day 💍🙏🇯🇲👊n I believe that god 🙌has it all figured out for me as well as for us as a whole so I don’t worry so much when it comes to that because my faith is unshakable when it comes to god nobody can tell me otherwise 🤔☝️🙏👊 ...... I understand that this now being my 3rd pregnancy 🤰 of course I’m emotional etc. but, still what should I do to cope with that fear any suggestions?

And thanks to all who may come across this and post sum positive things just to confirm what it is that I already know of but, again to still help keep me focused n not be so damn hard on myself lol 😂😫😪

Any negative 👎 or hatred comments will be reported and blocked etc because as the many greats of comedy have said lol “AIN NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT” 😌👊🇯🇲🤰🤦‍♀️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😭😭😭😭