My kids father is saying that hes going to tell the courts that i use to stalk him when we were together. Meaning the times he would leave me alone in the house with our babies (10 months and 2) for days or when he wouldnt come home at nights.. I would look for him at his friends house and one time to his moms house to talk to him and her. I was on my way to work so it was stupid early and he was gone for a week . he would not even talk to me about the kids or even see the kids. I had no car to get to anywhere my parents took the kids for a few days so i can uber it to work so i looked for him there in uber one time and she even refused to let me speak to him becus he didnt want to talk to me &she said she knew her son wouldnt speak to me. Hes going to use that "my bm is crazy" to try to get full or 50/50 custody because i told him i was going to file child support. I regret even looking for him but it would kill me to think he was cheating on me or doing shady things. He smokes weed and doesnt have a job so even though this will look bad and stupid of him im worried for my part too. I didnt take the break up good because he would constantly break up then come back and say sorry i guess the last time it really messed me. We couldnt agree to when he would see them and since hes always high i told him i didnt want the kids around him like that or for him to keep that around them. At one point he said what he does isnt my buisness (smoking) and im not going to tell him how to raise his kids which i have screenshotted. I tried to do EVERYTHING right and give him options to see the kids at my parents then build up the trust so he can take them but he refused saying he doesnt need to be babysitted. So i would leave it alone but then a few days later or weeks i would break down and write to him what did i do wrong if we could talk or why he cant explain why he left me and i wanted my family back. Ofcourse he would never replied back. I would think there was a chance of us getting back and making it work and maybe he just needed to think about things because if he really didnt i didnt understand why he couldnt tell me no or just tell me he wanted to be single. But then i saw he added other girls on fb and started talking to them so i stopped. That was my rude awakening and i realized how stupid and thirsy i must have looked. He got a new phone so all those messages are on his new phone. Im hoping he threw it away (it was broken and cracked) so theres really no way to have proof of how much i messaged him. I know im not the only one that has blown up a bds phone looking for him and stuff but i dont know im scared. 😭 he is so good at maniuplating a situation and say "shes crazy" but my ex was very emotional abusive. He has put me through hell, has talked down to me complained about everything i did. I couldnt have a life outside home. All i did was work and come home and thats it. He would constantly pick fights with me so he can leave and cruise with friends and get high and he'll say i caused him to leave. He'll call me out my name and never helped me with his kids. Im so worried what will happen. Its only been 2 months. My friends tell me how i reacted was because of how hurt i was. I was scared to be alone and moving out and i was so use to the abuse and believing the times he said he was going to change.

I dont know if i should lay low for awhile and have HIM ask for the kids. I did offer for him to take them but this is what he wrote and i guess he doesnt want to have anything written down because he knows hes going to keep the kids as long as he wants. He doesnt even tell me he misses them or anything..any advise? words on encourgagment? Should i just leave all this alone for awhile. See how long he goes making no contact then file for child support in afew months? Just so everything calms down..

He started selling drugs too my dad and i saw him when we went to pick up some of my stuff. He had edibles around which i have a picture of. I think he stopped though because he probably got scared when i told him about it. I know he probably started doing other drugs because from time to time he would try to convince me to do extasy or other shit which i always refused.

These are some pictures i have not sure if its helpful.. Ofcourse messages saying hes going to get high but i need to gather everything.. He would even detox when he would look for jobs and the last time i did take a picture because i felt like he would try to fuck me over first chance he gets..