TRIGGER WARNING : VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED

Okay so when I was in first grade I had this teacher Mr. C. I lived in Arizona and he was really nice. I never really realized what actually happened to me until much later in my life (I’m 15 now) and I’m not quite sure what it even was. I still remember he would always sing “Puff the Magic Dragon” to us while he played the guitar. He would always have me sit on his lap (he took turns with the other girls in the class but I sat in his lap pretty often. Anyway, during recess he would give treats to me for staying inside while the other kids played. He would ask me to do him some favors and I didn’t quite understand what he meant. He would give me ice cream occasionally as long as I never told anyone, and being the idiot little kid I was, I obliged. He would always put his hands on my chest and like massage me and would put his hand on my thigh and sometimes (On the ice cream days) he would put his hand in my underwear. I never realized what he was doing at the time or even for a while until it was too late. I’m not quite sure what it would be considered tho as sometimes he would take off my shirt or lift up my dress so he could see me and feel me. It still makes me shudder to this day and I still blame myself for being so stupid and not telling anyone. I know it’s not my fault but it feels like it is.