Should I be mad at my 17 yr old daughter?

Question

So my 17 year old came out and told me she drinks sometimes and gets drunk ( she told me she only does it though with people she trusts ) and she always has a DD and would never get in the car with a drunk driver.. and she also told me she vapes too. How would you feel if your 17yr old daughter told you this?

Accepted Answer

Honestly, at least she told you. And she's also being safe. My mom was a hard ass on me and it made me rebel. She wasnt the mother I could talk to, I never even told her I was drinking! I think you should just have a talk with her, maybe punish her a little bit if you feel that's what's needed. But really, just tell her that you want the best for her, and that if she ever needs anything to call you. Let her know she could count on you if she needs a ride home.

Answer

It sounds like she’s mature and smart about it. And I’d be proud as hell that she was honest with me. So I think you shouldn’t be mad. Just let her know you’d like her to stay smart about it and continue being honest with you.

Answer

Hi I'm a 17 year old. 
I think she might be somewhere in her life where it's hard to communicate, you didn't do anything wrong and she loves you for sure. But I think you should maybe talk to her about the danger and that you're always there for her no matter what. Most of us have trouble talking about our feelings or just tell what's going on in our life.
Just don't be too strict cause she'll want to go against what you tell.I don't think vaping is that bad (I don't smoke so idk) and for the alcohol part just tell her she can drink a little bit but not fully drunk to the point she could harm herself. Tell her to call you or someone she trusts who has a car so you can make sure she's ok. Maybe tell her to call a taxi if you can't go pick her up it's always safer than just going in a random person's car

Answer

I would be happy she trusts me enough to be honest.  She is 17.  It’s naive to think she isn’t doing this stuff.  I mean of course we want our kids straight laced but that’s just not reality.  I’d want my kids being open and honest.  Would I be happy she’s doing it?  Of course not.   I would definitely sit her down and calmly talk about the consequences and implications without yelling.

Answer

Sounds about exactly how I was in high school. I casually drank my senior year and had a vape pen although I rarely used it. Teenage me thought it looked cool 🙄. I was always DD unless we spent the night somewhere or someone else volunteered. It taught me how to drink responsibly and safely. Personally I’d just talk to her about the vaping thing as I’m currently conducting research on e-cigarettes and the vape juice contains cytotoxic chemicals. Maybe just talk to her that you’re worried about that and ask if she’s seen any of the research on how vapes contain as much nicotine as 20 cigarettes. Encourage her to not vape on her own. But I wouldn’t worry about drinking

Answer

Well I meant to say no. But anyways I wouldn’t be mad at my 17 year or kid because they told me and they are being responsible about it. I know every parent has there own thoughts and I don’t have kids so maybe that would change my mind? But if they are willing to tell me and be responsible about it I would just tell they I would rather them do it at home

Answer

Not mad but like upset or hurt at her of course for even doing that in the first place, idc how careful she is .. I am mom and I will care buuuut I would be thankful that she was being honest with me and didn’t keep it a secret. I would want my kids to be able to feel comfortable enough to come to me about things so I wouldn’t be too harsh on her but I would talk to her tho, she came to me mature so I’m gonna talk to her like a mature person. Get mad or be harsh and it might force her to not feel comfortable enough to tell me anything ever again. I want that trust but regardless, yes I would feel a way. That’s my baby no matter what.

Answer

And im 13... shes 17 be grateful she gold you :)

Answer

I mean I was 17 once too and I used to drink and sneak out with friends. Don’t be hard on her. Maybe tell her to drink less? Honestly it’s just all fun.

Answer

I was that age when I started drinking, smoking and popping pills, I was raped and that was what helped me forget my problems, HAHa! No, it made things worst my best friend at the time took advantage of me when I was drunk. And he film it, I was helpless and not all there you see it in the video. Friends that I trusted who were always there left me with a guy who they trusted. Because they wanted to have fun, don’t get me wrong I went home “safe” afterwards but it still messed me up. Best thing to do is encourage her to call you, it’s possible to drink a little bit not enough to get drunk. Best way she should be able to call you when she’s drunk needs a ride and not get so mad, but something is wrong if she clearly wants to get drunk. Find out wants bothering her without judgement, try and not get mad at her response. I have a 12 year old who is a great kid but she has friends who are having sex so she was interested it took a lot to just listen without yelling.

Should I be mad at my 17 yr old daughter?

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