A sexy voice is shaking my sense of commitment?

Long distance bf, visit every three months, is sexy and sweet, accommodating and has gone through lots of change for our relationship. Our sex takes 2 hours or more sometimes because he’s so determined to make me finish but in trying to do that he ends up making me feel awkward and pressured to come.

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Recently I’ve been getting closer with this guy I met in an online game. By close, I mean he’s more comfortable sharing stuff about his daily life and recent relationships. Usually when we play he’s cool, levelheaded and patient. Then, I noticed one day he was the complete opposite. Really excited, reckless and charging into battle like it was nobody’s business. So I asked him if he was okay and he said he was getting super drunk. First time playing with him that way. He did this a couple more times till I finally asked him what was going on and he told me that he was drinking himself away and playing video games because his gf cheated on him.

This guy has the sexiest voice, especially when he plays with me. As a lower level support and him

as a high level DPS, it feels cinematic whenever he comes in and saves me or whenever we pull off awesome combos together. He uses voice chat to communicate so he’s always talking and making jokes. When he’s drunk he becomes really energetic and makes pervy jokes whenever he gets a kill. And I love it.

It’s been bad though... I’m not really the person to say “if the relationship is really serious, the physical doesn’t matter” but my brain still makes me feel guilty and abides by it. Hence, hiding when I’m horny around my rarely horny bf. We have video sex but it’s never enough. Even in person.

I’m not planning on making this online relationship a real thing, for one I don’t know where he is or what he’s really like but I kind of go back to him and play just to get off a bit (I don’t actually masturbate while playing)... feels shitty but I can’t help it

Any advices?