“The one that got away”

When I was 17 I dated this guy. And boy how how I loved him. Of course we were young & had a lot to learn and we didn’t work out at the time. We both had a lot of growing up too do (me mainly, I was really jealous & just plain out MEAN). Well I truly believe he helped me mold into who I am today. After we broke up I realized a lot of stuff about myself & I made sure I worked on myself and I told myself I wasn’t gonna date again until I changed who I was. Well at 20 I met my now husband.

Well my ex also obviously started his own life and had moved out of town.

Now I’ll be lying if I did he still doesn’t cross my mind here and there (I’m 25 now)

WELL...

Last week while out shopping I RAN INTO HIM (Gotta love small town living) I was with my daughter and he was with his. And he walked up and said hi and told me how he moved back into town months back and it was his weekend with his daughter.

Man did he grow up to everything I thought he would be.

And of course I ran into him at a time where me and my husband are not at a great place. Always having petty arguments. He gets mad over everything and always blames me even for things I literally have no control over. Now my husband is not a bad man. Idk if it’s stress or something but he’s always so angry now, angry at me, at life. Lately I feel like I can’t even talk to him cause he will literally turn everything into an argument.

Now when my ex asked me how have I’ve been doing I told him a lot of stuff going on in my family. Stuff I wish I could talk to my husband about without him twisting it to an argument. Like sometimes all I literally want for him is to just listen to me so I could vent without any smart remark.

It was only 1 conversation with my x but I can’t get that ugly guilty feeling out of my chest like if I emotionally cheated cause I felt so comfortable talking with him.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this post just literally needed to Vent