Need Advice & Support

My husband and I have been together for 3 1/2 years now, married for almost 2, and have an 11 month old and I am 8 weeks pregnant. We haven’t had the best relationship at all, and I feel like I became emotionally detached to him while being pregnant and after our son was born. He would get drunk and say really hurtful things to me throughout my first pregnancy.

I just found out my husband has been sneaking out going to the barn to smoke weed “occasionally” behind my back. I would often smell it and say something and he would deny deny deny, and say he would never jeopardize our family and couldn’t believe I would accuse him of that. He constantly made me feel like the bad person. I know many people don’t have issues with weed, however I grew up around alcohol and most recently my family has been smoking more and more weed. They just party and get drunk, while their children would be outside playing or staying at grandma’s. I find it disgusting, a major turn off, and “loser-like.” I am all for medicinal marijuana, however can’t take it when I see people putting drugs and alcohol over their family, and act like a bunch of fools.

Well I found out my husband has been lying to me for 3 years, and don’t know how to get over it. We already have trust issues, even though neither of us have cheated. I feel betrayed, embarrassed and hurt. I’ve made so many changes for him, and part of us getting married, having kids and raising or family was that he stopped smoking weed because I didn’t want our family to be raised around it.

I don’t know what to do. 😢😓😔